Question sent in to CWG: I went through two impartation services, but out of the 150 or so people, I was one of about 10 who never felt anything. Everyone else was on the floor, overwhelmed with God’s presence. I began to cry the second time. Why don’t I feel God’s presence?

Unknown Object

Mark’s answer (stated in a left-brain way so left-brainers can appreciate and appropriate it)

This reminds me of myself during the first ten years of my Christian life. I felt nothing. I even defined my love for my wife as "My decision to commit myself to her." So even my love for Patti was not a feeling. It was an intellectual commitment. This is not very heartwarming or marriage-enhancing for Patti. I’m so sorry for the pain I put her through.

My emotions were restored by Jesus through two-way journaling

  1. Ten years into my Christian life God revealed to me the four keys to hearing His voice: stillness, vision, flow, and journaling. I began using them and hearing God’s voice as flowing thoughts and seeing His vision as flowing pictures which I would journal out.
  2. One day the vision was of Jesus holding my head against His chest and He was caressing my hair. He said, “Mark, I want you to know that tenderness is OK. I want to restore emotions to your life." (You see, I had cut them off as I was taught they were soulish and I didn’t want to be soulish.)
  3. Jesus said, “To restore emotion. I want you to…
    • Re-read the Gospels and see that I healed because I was moved with compassion. Compassion is a spirit emotion. It is the carrier wave of My power.
    • Re-read the Psalms and note that David had emotions and expressed them all to Me and that was fine.
    • Notice how tenderly I love you in your two-way journaling times and learn to love others the same way.
    • I repented of my scorn of emotions and asked God to restore them to me.
  4. Jesus revealed to me that emotions are byproducts of pictures
    • For example, in an impartation service where people are laying hands on me and releasing an anointing to me, I PICTURE what is going on… it is Jesus with His hands on their hands and His anointing, light and power are flowing through their hands and into me. I gaze upon that picture which is a true picture of the spiritual reality that is taking place.
    • I ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten the eyes of my heart, take over the picture and breathe on it (Eph. 1:17-18) as I tune to flow (Jn. 7:37-39).
    • The scene in my mind comes alive, meaning I have just stepped from a godly imagination into a vision as I see and feel His power and energy flowing into me. My feelings are now a byproduct of what I am seeing.
    • Yes, then I do feel something. It would be easy to fall backward at that point and lay on the floor and soak in His presence, with my eyes on the Holy Spirit that was engulfing me like a cocoon. Or it would be easy for me to resist this light feeling and NOT fall. So I get to choose. I choose to participate in the experience as that appears most appropriate to me.

Summary – Stepping from Rationalism to Revelation Knowledge

The above steps allowed me to move from the false god of rationalism (relying on reason to establish religious truth), to Christian spirituality, where I experience Jesus and the Holy Spirit alive in my heart. I am stepping from a theology about God to a living encounter with God, through use of the four keys. This was the transformational point in my Christian experience.

I grew up a westerner. Jesus was not a westerner. I had to choose to step out of the western worldview and rediscover the world of my heart and the Holy Spirit Who lives within my heart (Jn. 7:37-39).

"But when He, the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth (Jn. 16:13).

Resources to go deeper and GAIN this revelation and lifestyle transformation