Journaling by Pam Russell

For the past 3 weeks I have been able to quiet myself and focus. I would see an image of Jesus as He sat on the throne with a light around Him and a path to Him that was laid out. The last couple of times it was dark. I could see Him but could not get to Him. What was happening and how do I fix it? It was unsettling for me.

THIS IS WHAT THE LORD SAID TO ME

"Why do you have me sitting on the throne still? Is our relationship always going to be servanthood? Do you want to be my friend? What would we look like as friends? Is it that you can’t imagine that because friendship has been tough for you? Yes, you love hard and you are as demanding of your friends as you are of yourself.

"But you have to remember I anointed you to love. It is so intense. Just like you are, that it can be overwhelming. Combine that with your desire to get everything right.  Thinking through things, projecting. It is exhausting. But at the same time, it produces a sense of jealousy. Because while they are thinking you are so extreme and wondering about being friends with someone who is not on “10” all the time, they are wishing they approached life a bit more like you. 

"I want to be your friend. Can I come down from that throne? Are you willing to do what I command? Do you want to understand what I am doing? I want you to. I chose you. I made you before the foundation of the world to bear fruit that remains. If you ask our Father, in my name, He will give it to you. Our friendship and anything else. Do you want to be friends? Will you ask?"

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I did ask but I did not know what friendship would look like with Jesus. He told me to walk with Him in the cool of the day just like Adam and Eve did. I saw it and the light came back. I am so excited!