From Welfare to Wealth

“You don’t trust me. I am going to teach you how to trust me.” Hearing God say those words struck me. “What do you mean, I don’t trust you?!” I grew up in a church focused home. In fact, all I knew as a child was church. We lived in church! So for God to say I didn’t trust him was huge. I stood there thinking about trust. To me trust meant depending on someone else. I never like the feeling being dependent and asking for stuff. And yet, I knew in my heart that it was true. I didn’t trust anybody because I didn’t want to ask. So if I needed something, and couldn’t get it for myself, I did without it.

We were a family of self reliant people. We learned self reliance from my father. He had had a hard life. My Dad was 10 years old when my grandfather was murdered. I remember stories of bootleggers, the KKK, and of his becoming an orphan. When my grandmother couldn’t care for him and his young sister, she left them with relatives who mistreated them and eventually my dad ran away around age 12. Here was this little boy in a man’s body providing for himself. My dad never got over that abandonment. I think that’s where the feeling of self reliance came from him because he hated needing the help of family who resented his presence. I can see now how strong that drive made him and it also made him committed to taking care of his own children.

Dad was fiercely independent, and he worked hard to provide for 10 children as my mother never worked outside our home. We lived on a farm growing and raising much of our food. But growing up with him was hard. And despite the fact that we were never hungry, with my dad, it felt like there was never enough money. Somebody always needed something. As a child, I learned to justify the slightest need whether it was a pair of shoes or tampons. If I asked for it, I defended its importance. I remember asking for money to take school trips and having to detail how, where and when it would be used. I hated that feeling and quietly decided to never ask for things if I could help it.

My dad was a dreamer too. I recall his wanting to build an apartment complex. He bought land for it but getting the money to make it happen was hard. The orphan spirit he lived under for much of his life convinced him that nobody would support him, even though many people wanted to. He talked a lot about lack, especially the lack of money. To keep from hearing lectures about our lack of money, we went to work as soon as we could. I finished school and went to college on my own.

Later as a young adult, I worked as a human resource contractor for tech companies. In 1992, an unplanned pregnancy altered my life. My son’s father wanted me to have an abortion. I refused. I thought that I could take care of my child alone. So I emptied my retirement savings and had my baby. That money quickly ran out. With no other option, I went on welfare. Here I was a college educated skilled consultant on welfare. I felt ashamed for my family to know that I was a “welfare mother.”

When my son was around 2 1/2, I started looking for work. I had interview after interview to no avail. My check was $490 a month with $150 in food stamps. My rent was $580. Do that math. I tithed on the welfare money truthfully because I thought that God would punish me even more if I didn’t. To make matters worse, one night some drunks stole my car and rammed it into a tree. Now I had no job, no childcare, no transportation and no money for repairs. I felt abandoned by the Lord. I cried out to God saying, “What am I doing wrong?” I felt worthless and humiliated. To top it all off, I got evicted when I used my rent money to fix the car.

I had one escape from my worries, it was prayer. I learned to pray from my mother. She used to say that the devil was less busy between 3 and 7 am. I loved early Morning Prayer. I would wait till the sun came up, put my son in his stroller and walk the 5 blocks to church. Even though it felt like God was not listening, a peace would come over me in that prayer room. Most days it was me, the prayer pastor and Jesus. That morning, when God spoke, it wasn’t an audible voice but I knew it was Him. He said, “I know you love me, but you don’t trust me. I am going to teach you how to trust me.” Shortly after that God told me to start a business. Mind you, I had just been evicted; I was unemployed, on welfare and God says, “Start a consulting business.” I said, “Lord how can I start a business? I don’t even have a computer.”

Within a week, someone gave me a word processor. I immediately wrote my first workshop, the Power of One – Leadership for Teens. I finished it on a Tuesday. Thursday, a Muslim friend called to say that a speaker for an event had canceled. He asked if I could fill in. It was an hour long presentation and paid $200. I was rich and in my zone! Driving home, my friend mentioned a radio show I should listen to.

The day I listened to the show, the subject was Customer Service. Suddenly, Holy Spirit said, “call in now and give them your philosophy of service.” I did. That night, the owner of a Kinko’s store called and asked what I’d charge to do a presentation for his employees. I heard this inner voice say, ”Ask for what you want.” I only knew one amount to ask. You guessed it, $200.

Later, I did a 30 minute service presentation! Everyone loved it and I had my $200 check! Quietly, I heard Holy Spirit say, “That is not your money. It is your first fruits”. Somewhere in the back of my mind I remembered a sermon by Joseph Garlington, teaching about first fruits. I went home and read Proverbs 3:9 Honor the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase… KJV. That Sunday, painfully, I sowed the entire $200 into the offering.

I knew I had to trust God but honestly it did not feel good. Looking back, I realize what was happening. My perception of trusting God as my Father was moving from HEAD KNOWLEDGE to HEART KNOWLEDGE. I was learning that a father provides all that you need. God was moving trust from my mind, to my heart and so it could land in my core. In your core, you assume provision. You just know that God is taking care of you. Sometimes you ask for things, other times, he just loves on you. You act out of subconscious expectation. And often, you don’t even think about the possibility of not having your needs met. Gradually I was getting to this place as God provided for me step by step.

I was somewhere between heart and core. I had learned to trust God in my thoughts and emotions. But God was aiming deeper. He wanted to penetrate my core beliefs so that I would eventually act on his instructions without second thoughts and without emotional wavering while filled with joyful expectation of his provision. All I had to do was ask for what I desired!

Literally, the next week, I received a call from the regional manager of Kinko’s. He had heard such great reviews from the first store; they asked if I would do the same presentation in all 22 southern California locations! God turned a $200 seed into $4400 almost overnight! This was the money that got me completely off welfare.

By now, I was confidently hearing God and resting in his provision. I knew his voice. I welcomed it! The Lord led me to another church where they had strategic goals of helping church businesses thrive. God was filling my mind with ideas on how to create income. I learned about multiple streams of income, and home ownership.

One income stream was craft shows. I made hand painted bookmarks and jewelry decorated vests. I would buy the vests at thrift stores for .25 cents. After painting them, they sold for $25.00. But at this craft fair I only earned $98. The next day my new church announced a building campaign. Holy Spirit said to sow the entire $98 and I did happily! I knew without thinking that whenever Holy Spirit gave an instruction, he was going to bless me. Within 2 weeks, I was contacted by a Los Angeles City agency, Community Build Inc.

They needed a program to help at risk youth get employment by providing customer service training. I had no knowledge of RFP’s (requests for proposals) but Holy Spirit coached me and taught me. Holy Spirit even gave me the name of my program, the Customer Service Academy™ My proposal won the bid and I secured my first Contract for $17,500.00. This was the first of many open doors. I received contracts with TurboTax, KCET Public Television and I landed a multi-year contract with P-B Health Home Care Agency, Inc. on the east coast. This contract allowed me to relocate back to Mississippi closer to my aging parents.

The blessings continued when my son received a 6 year scholarship to private school. I began studying and praying about real estate. In 1999, 90 days after returning to MS, I bought my first home. A year later I bought another and another. Now my realtor was calling me when she had a good deal. I started working in the financial services industry because I wanted to learn how money worked. And I continued to increase. In 2006, I bought a 5000 square foot home for pennies on the dollar. When we finished renovations, the house appraised for almost 5 times what I paid for it.

That season of real estate investing was the financial foundation that enabled me to survive the worst economic downturn in American history. Having a real estate financial base allowed me to care full time for my father when my mother died suddenly. Job 38:22-23 says, Hast thou entered into the treasures of the snow? Or hast thou seen the treasures of the hail, 23 which I have reserved against the time of trouble… (KJV). Snow pack that is frozen on a mountain today becomes water for the valley tomorrow. Looking back, I see how God was setting up my life against difficulties in the future as he taught me how to trust him. For the most part, I live apart from the constraints of a job and I am free to pursue what God points to.

This journey has not been easy. And yet today, it is not any one thing that covers my bills. It is the combination of multiple income streams flowing at different times that give me the freedom to serve in the kingdom of God. In this new season, I recognize the need for that freedom now more than ever. I see God launching my life in new directions.

Recently, Clarice Flutes prophesied these words, “The Lord wants you to ask for what you want.” I smiled; here we go again, God.